openings April 29, 2007

sunday morning, up a bit too early especially after my 3am return home after a fun stagette/ girl’s night celebrating audrey and her upcoming wedding.  we went to sanafir, an exquisite moroccan-themed candle-lit, rod-iron room.  we had a great table and the four of us chatted non-stop and toasted audrey and quickly became quite silly.  i felt like we were in sex and the city, it was one of those places.  odd for me to be in this trendy spot right on granville mall. i had flashbacks to my visit to nyc and to tao.  it was an experience and a good time, though i would only go back for something like this or someone’s birthday.  it was a little different from all the trendy and posh places that vancouver is pushing out lately.

we then went for a little stroll and received a lot of attention from drunken boys and even a few men on their stags.  i was the youngest in the group but i too felt old.  we went to a bar and danced and was silly and i finally had to throw in the towel at 3am.  unusual for me being the light weight that i am, i even had TWO shots. 

i have again been quiet on the blog, it is the time of year.  our conference went really well.  i was happy with how my paper turned out and I enjoyed presenting and sharing the impetus for my research and braiding that with a poem and some anecdotes from my m.a research.  it was rewarding to plan the day and everyone did well. it was a long day from 7am until 8pm with the prep and clean up and all the smoozing, but we still decided to celebrate at the wonderful women owned and montreal like rhizome cafe and debriefed the day.  we could all tell that the director of wmst was a bit antsy, i think she wanted to leave by the afternoon.  i was happy to get my presentation done in the morning, so i could emcee and be more clear minded and focussed in the afternoon.

i went to victoria and presented the same paper–it was a very concentrated period to hear other work and present mine.  i have a lot of passion for this work but as a very wise fellow ph.d student and dear friend said to me “what you need to do is keep your passion, they will try and chip it away from you” and yes, even my idealistic optimist self has realized that even in women’s studies they (the institution and SOME of the profs not all) try to seep the passion out of you.

i have one more paper and then i will be officially done course work and onward onto my studying for comprehensives, cannot wait as i am eager to be on my own schedule.  i have a meeting with a dear member of my committee to chat about this year and i want to discuss the department and this chipping away of passion with her, she rocks.  i really feel lucky to work with her.  she challenges me and my work with vigour and care and inspires me to work harder. that is the ideal not someone who plays games and power trips which is a commonplace as you move higher in academia. 

some days i think oh i should be a counsellor, a social worker WORKING for social justice in that way, in that capacity. but we shall see…i can have these feelings, hold them, see if they become stronger.  for now i move along, i love teaching. i am good at it, it is rewarding it is creative.  it is complex as most things are and i can hold onto these contradictions.

so without going into too much detail i have had some stomach and iron deficiency issues so i am going on a cleanse for two days starting tomorrow and then a specific diet for a while so that i can feel more in tune and refreshed.  i will be prepping these things today. i am at home for two days finishing up term work so i decided to do the initial two day cleanse then, i hope my brain is awake enough to finish.  i hand in the paper on thursday then i will feel a lot lighter.

lorne and i will almost be married 2 years june 5 wow o wow. we will be in montreal, can hardly wait.

starting to feel like spring, openings.

more soon

a

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